Bumper Stickers

I have never understood bumper stickers. That is to say, I have never understood the need or desire to use bumper stickers--I usually don't have a problem understanding the message. So, I am continually perplexed by cars I regularly follow on my commute to work with stickers all over them. I am convinced that one car in particular is held together entirely by bumper stickers. I don't think any more stickers could possibly fit on this beast. It's hideous. My favorite is the one that says, "Dear God, Please save me from your followers". I chuckle at that one each time, but it doesn't change that fact that I think bumper stickers are tacky (not to mention stupid to put on a car, particularly when it's for a politician who isn't going to be running the whole time you own the car).

When I ended up behind this giant bumper sticker with wheels this morning, I got thinking about what I would write if I were to create a bumper sticker. These were the two winners I came up with:

* Driving the speed limit is NOT a crime. Speed up!
*Tolerance is not a sin!

I thought that those effectively cover two of my biggest pet peeves: slow drivers and bigoted, hateful, close-minded people.

So, with this in mind, to the old man in the tan Corolla with "I <3 Taiwan's Independence" (as do I, of course), the middle-aged woman in the really old gray Accord with "whY aRe yoU yoU?", and the young lesbian in the red Echo with "Pro-Constitution/Anti-Bush", I say to you that I tolerate you (even though I don't understand why you put these stickers on your car), but that you really get on my nerves on a regular basis as you are three of the slowest drivers on this earth! SPEED UP!!!!