As Darin pointed out earlier this evening, this week marks the two year anniversary of our pilgrimage to the South. We left Utah in Luh-fawn-duh the Honda (my beloved Accord) and had quite the drive across the country. I went back through my emails and found the two emails I had sent to my friends and family, updating them as to our travels and adventures. I shall paste them here for your enjoyment. Ah, memories...
Email #1 "Greetings from Zanesville, Ohio!"
Hello Friends!
Greetings from the other side of the country! It has been quite the adventure and we're only on our second day. Right now, we're in Zanesville, Ohio, which is 78 miles out of Columbus (Columbus is quite the beautiful city at night). We were hoping to make it into West Virginia tonight, but we're bushed. It's 12:45 a.m. and we've been driving since 9:00 a.m. We didn't get to bed until 4:30 a.m. That was twice as much sleep as we received the night before.
I was pretty much packed by Thursday night, but I still had a few things to throw in and then my room to pick up. I also wanted to go spend time with my family and then had to pick up Darin in Brigham. We got back to my house at 1:30 a.m., got the car packed, and then we were up until almost 4:00 a.m. getting stuff finished. We then woke up at 6:30 and got on the road. It was rough. Anyway, we survived the drive through Wyoming (the UGLIEST of states) including seeing some giant statue of Mary or Jesus (we couldn't tell which it was) and then we got to see a trailer house with teepees built into it. Like, permanent, concrete teepees built into the middle of a trailer house. It was insane. Don't worry, I took pictures. Anyway, we then headed into Nebraska and that is where the fun began.
A few miles into Nebraska, Darin was driving and noticed this HUGE field full of cattle. He was like, "Wow! That's a ton of cattle." I meanwhile was studying the atlas (Did you know Ohio is the 7th most populated state in the US?) and looked up and said, "That is a lot of cattle." Those were almost the last words I spoke. The cows were not just any cows. They were primed and ready for the slaughter, which meant they were fed a warm grain and it stunk to high heaven. We coughed, we gagged, we gulped down the vomit, and we tried to hold our breath. Because we were crying and laughing so hard, that proved impossible. So, we shoved our noses in our armpits to smell the deodorant over that hideous stench. I was brave a couple of times and tried to see if the smell was gone. It wasn't. It honestly was the worst smell on earth and lasted for MILES!! I would rather smell ten dead skunks at once than smell that again. That was our introduction into Nebraska. It was almost a death by toxic fuming. The reason I know about the warm grain, etc., is because I was texting my dad at the time, who drives through that area constantly. I told him I was taking my last breath and that it was due to these horrible cows. He wrote back, "Oh, those ones on the right hand side? Yeah, that's pretty bad. There's a rest area a few miles ahead. Pull over, walk around, and get a cold drink. It will help with the sickness." I don't think anyone will ever understand how bad it was unless they were to smell it themselves.
OK, so beyond the cows, we kept seeing urine filled bottles by the road, mile after mile. I couldn't figure out what I was looking at, until Darin explained that a lot of truck drivers do that to save time and then throw them out. That made me sick to my stomach too. But, a few miles later, we were both sick as we looked over to see a lady vomiting by the side of the road. OK, OK, I'll stop with the nasty details of the trip.
So, last night, we were planning on making it to Des Moines, Iowa. We were so exhausted though and tried to stay in Omaha, Nebraska instead. It turns out there was some college world series going on and the entire town's motels were booked, including all of the towns for the next two hours. We were exhausted, couldn't find a place to sleep, and we were starving. We finally found a place somewhere by Elk Horn, Iowa. I almost ran over a family of raccoons, but due to my sharp sight at 2:00 a.m., I avoided the tragedy. The funny thing is that Darin and I were playing the either/or game earlier in the day and one of his questions was, "Would you rather run over and kill an entire family of kittens or watch Duchess get eaten by a boa constrictor?" Of course, I'd much rather run over the cats. Anyway, a few hours later, there we were, with me almost running over a mama raccoon and her four babies. Disaster was avoided, so I hope Duchess doesn't meet up with any boa constrictors.
OK, so we couldn't get food b/c everything was closed, so we backtracked several miles to an open gas station to grab some junk to get by on, including refrigerated deli sandwiches. It was awful. But, for those of you who have seen me when I'm tired and hungry, you know it was best that I get something, anything really, to eat. It was essential. So, we were up early this morning and have driven about 1800 miles, maybe a bit more, between today and yesterday. We've driven through Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, and most of Ohio. We're going to hit it tomorrow and try to get to Washington, DC by 1:00 p.m. I am aiming to get to South Boston, Virginia by 5 p.m. I'll head into Raleigh on Monday morning. I have an apartment now and a roommate, so that'll be fun. I'll meet him on Monday or Tuesday. I'll still be house sitting for the week, but will be able to drop all of my stuff off at the apartment so I'm not unpacking twice. I limited my packing to 120 shirts, 40 pairs of pants, 25 pairs of shoes, and then a lot of crap that I just had to have. Darin didn't do much better, so poor Luh-fawn-duh the Honda is loaded to no other. Bless her soul for surviving so far. We bought a cargo bag for the top of the car for luggage and it's stuffed too. The straps go through the car and hook inside, so now the door seals are separated making it soooooo noisy in the car. We solve this by stuffing kleenex and toilet paper in the door frame by the straps. We are both about the same height and the straps hang down a few inches from the roof of the car, so we are slouching down in the chairs to avoid having a strap pushing down on our heads the whole time.
OK, OK, I'll let ya'll go. I need to get to bed and this e-mail is long enough to keep you busy for a while. I hope you are all doing well. I'll catch ya' later. Have a blessed day!
Love,
Kade
Email #2 "Greetings from Raleigh"
Hello friends!
I have made it! 2600 miles later I am here. It was quite the trip full of fun and adventure in mile after mile. Darin and I made it to DC yesterday evening about 5 hours later than planned, so I didn't get to my Virginia destination until late last night. We had spent the night in Ohio and drove through West Virginia, Pennsylvania, back into West Virginia, through Maryland (HORRIBLE TRAFFIC!!) and then into DC from there. I took off from DC last night and drove down to Clover, VA and stayed with some friends there, before driving down to Raleigh this afternoon. I only got severely lost once I got to Raleigh itself. It's going to be quite the adventure trying to find my way around this town.
Yesterday, we hit a ton of rain storms, which didn't help us in getting to DC in time either. In fact, this morning the news was that portions of DC flooded, including the home of my friend's niece. It sounds quite bad. Anyway, not only did this put us behind schedule, but we also had other issues because of this. We had the cargo bag on top of the car, with the straps coming through the doors and connecting inside the car itself. This proved to be quite noisy as it made the door seals not work properly. To combat this, we had stuffed kleenex in the door jam and that had worked for us...until the rain that is. Of course, the tissue absorbed the water, sending it right to the inside of the car, dripping down on us. I was driving and it wasn't so bad on my side for a while, but Darin was getting dumped on. So, I had him pull a bath towel from the backseat and we used it to blot the soaked car and strap. (The car roof material inside the car window was soaked and dripping too.) We were just trading the towel back and forth as mine occasionally dripped, but pretty soon that wasn't enough. So, I had Darin dig through the pile in the backseat and find another towel, so we could both wrap our arms in them and try to not get soaked. Can we say ghetto?! But, it was still way fun. I drove by the Watergate tower, the Federal Reserve, and the Kennedy Center yesterday, which were places I didn't see last time I was in DC. I'll have to go back up and explore a few times while Darin lives there. It was weird driving out of DC because I wasn't at all concerned with sightseeing, but that is one main place to visit for that. It just became another place on the map to drive through.
Anyway, I forgot to mention in my previous e-mail that most of you got, that in a freakish accident I managed to dislocate my jaw while flossing my teeth. I know, I know. No need to make comments on this one. Anyway, it has hurt like no other and there have been so many times on the trip that we were laughing so hard at stupid stuff and it didn't help the situation. So, now I have a swollen jaw and it hurts to even chew food. Well, I thought this was bad enough. But, it gets better (or worse as the case may be). While driving out of Maryland, I tried to take a picture of the "Welcome to Maryland" sign b/c I had missed it on the way in. Logistically, I had to turn around in my seat (no, I wasn't driving at the time), duck under the cargo case straps, and over the tremendous pile of junk in the backseat, all while trying to keep my seatbelt on. Needless to say, it flopped. Not only did it flop, but I pulled a groin muscle (too much info, I know) and it started cramping. So, I'm screaming and laughing while trying to straighten out my leg, keep my jaw shut, and take a picture. It was horrible. It didn't help that Darin was laughing hysterically as well. But, I think I would've done the same if it were him. To make matters worse, the picture didn't turn out. However, despite all this, I am here safe and sound.
I have a job interview tomorrow and I should move into my new apartment this next week. Come next week it's going to be really rough when I have to cough up a fortune for rent and utilities. Short of prostituting myself, I'm going to have to do anything and everything to come up with money.
Well, on that happy note, I must bid you all adieu. I need to go get ready for dinner. Also, my cell phone only works if I sit in the rocker on the north corner of the front porch, so if you call me, you'll most likely get my voicemail. I'll try to check them periodically and call you back when I get a sec. I hope all is well with each of you. Take care and have a blessed day!
Love,
Kade of the South
It's hard to believe it's been two years already! The road trip was indeed an adventure, but the two years since then have proven to be quite the adventure as well. I don't know as I ever want to make a road trip across the country again, but it was worth doing once. Anyway, I'm glad I am here in Raleigh and that all has gone well since moving here and I look forward to many more fun years to come!
