My Beloved Camilla Juanita: Homage

As anyone who knows me can well attest, I absolutely love and adore my most excellent friend, Cammie Jan (aka Camilla Juanita). Those who know me can also attest to the fact that I share my love through much sarcasm and joking. If I'm kind to you and am not remotely sarcastic, it generally means I don't like you. Put into an equation, it would break out to be this: Me=Nice=You not liked. Anyway, I normally would not put a personal phone or text conversation online, but Cammie Jan made me chuckle so much that I couldn't resist on this one. I shall be known as "me" in this little scenario; Cammie Jan will be called "CJ"--creative, I know. I think it must be a gift from God or something. Anyway, this was our little text moment (only partially edited as some can't be repeated here):

CJ: I'm waiting for my car to be fixed and the old man next to me is reading an article about male enhancement pills. Are they a hoax? the article asks.
Me: Yes. They fail me every time.
CJ: Gross.
Me: The article asked, so I answered. :) Actually, I have no clue. But, a Dateline-type show investigated & said they're a hoax. You can share that with the man.
CJ: I'd rather not strike up a conversation with him.
Me: Hon, you're no spring chicken. This is not the time to be picky.
CJ: Shut. It. Now.
Me: I just don't want you to lose out on Mr. Right.
CJ: You're not helping.
CJ: Maybe I should take those pills.
Me: You already have a glandular problem. Let's not make it worse. Plus, there's the mustache issue to take into consideration too.
CJ: God made me what He made me. I take no credit.
Me: It's probably best you don't.
CJ: I won't. Would YOU take credit for THIS?
Me: Not so much. But to each his own, I say. :)
CJ: I just don't think I will. I was born this way--why you gotta hate?
Me: Oh, Shoog. You know I love you right down to the last hair in your bushy 'stache.
CJ: So, I'm hairy. What do you want from me?
Me: For you to utilize the spa waxing option.
CJ: Truly. Why are we friends?
Me: Because your mama pays me. That and the fact I think you're the best thing since sliced bread.
At the same time I sent that, this came from CJ:
I'm asking Brenda for a significant raise.
CJ: I'm not better than sliced bread?
Me: What can I say? I heart me some carbs.

But, the truth of the matter is that I heart me some Camilla Juanita. Cammie Jan is indeed one of the absolute best people on this earth and definitely one of the greatest influences, confidants, supporters, and examples in my life.

To think, those many, many years ago (first grade, to be exact), young Cammie Jan watched me run away from home (my mom wouldn't let me go to a friend's house for a sleepover); she sat there with my sisters and all of their friends, laughing away at me. Here we are over 20 years later and we're still laughing--only this time, it's not always me we're laughing at. (Usually, but not always.) Cammie Jan has one of the biggest hearts on this earth, gives (usually) sound advice, listens to me whine and complain, and even occasionally laughs at one of my stupid jokes. She is, in my book, perfection. So, Cammie Jan, know that you're loved from afar (and from a Kade, too)--and that you don't really have a 'stache problem. That was just me showing some love. :) Well, I must go pee, so off I go...