Mi Madre

On this, the day/eve we celebrate our mothers, I would like to take a moment to celebrate my wonderful mom. Mom has many nicknames--Dear Brenda, Brendella, Ma, Mama, Mamacita, Old Woman, etc. However, regardless of how I refer to her, the fact is that I have the coolest mom ever!

Mom is definitely not like other moms--or at least moms that I have known. For example, this was her birds and bees talk: "Honey, even though I hope you'll wait until marriage to have sex, you're going to do what you want to do. But, whatever you do, use protection! If you're too embarrassed to go buy condoms, I'll buy them for you. I'm not about to let you screw up your life. You have too much going for you." And with that, I had my birds and bees knowledge. (For the record, I'd be much more embarrassed to ask my mom to buy me condoms than I would be to just go buy them myself. But, the thought is what matters here...)

My mom is also infamous for her love of shopping and all things clothes. I do not fall far from the tree, but at least I came by it honestly. So, many fun memories involve spending the day or an evening with mom, getting some cool duds and usually a dinner too. Back in the day, I greatly benefited from Mom's generosity in this arena as if I saw something I wanted, but couldn't afford it, she'd buy it for me. But, it wasn't the "stuff" that mattered here--it was the fact that my mom was always willing to spend time with me and do everything she could to make sure my needs and wants were met.

Things weren't always the easiest for Mom. When she and my dad divorced, she put herself back through school, worked full-time, and had me and my older sister Kodi to take care of. Yet, despite this, she still managed to pull off many 4.0 GPA semesters and graduated with honors. I didn't get a single 4.0 in college and I only had a job to worry about--no kids or great financial worries. I am very, very proud of, and thankful for, my mom showing me that all things are possible--even when the odds seemed overwhelming.

Another time that stands out to me as a time when Ma showed her true strength is when she and my step-dad divorced. Despite the fact that she was giving up a very comfortable lifestyle and knew life would suddenly become much tougher, she did not complain. The night we moved out of the house and into a condo, we had dinner at a local drive-in cafe. The tab came to $16 and some change. Mom said, "Well, we won't be able to do that very often." I said, "Do what?" She said, "Eat out like this." It was then that I knew life had really changed. Afterall, this is the same woman, who just two months previous, had spent (along with my stepdad) over $700 on one dinner for ten of us, as we celebrated their anniversary. Perhaps this money was ill-spent, particularly considering the marital outcome, but regardless, it was spent. Two months later, $16 was a big deal. And yet--she never complained. It was just a transition in life for her.

Many, many nights...and I mean MANY...I would spend hours lying on Mom's bed while she went about doing whatever it was that she was doing and we would just chat away. She'd come and go in and out of the room, but would keep up with the conversation. Usually (well past midnight) she'd tell me it was time to go to bed and after a bit more chatting, another "midnight chat" would conclude. During college, the chats would occur several times a week. It's a miracle either one of us could function as we'd stay up so late visiting.

Three years have now passed since Mom and Scottie were divorced and life is much, much easier and better for Mom than those first several months--but her attitude is the exact same. She is just as generous, wise, concerned, involved, and conscientious of what's going on in mine and my sisters' lives--not to mention what my nephews are up to. She pays attention to each of us--but isn't intrusive. She's still one of the first people I turn to for advice, support, or for a pick-me-up talk when life isn't going so well or I'm stressed. I know she doesn't always agree with my choices and when I fall flat on my face, she's the one who is there to make sure I'm okay--not to tell me "I told you so". I have to have a third knee surgery and I want my mom to be here with me. So, I called her up and told her I need her to fly across the country and be here with me for a week. She said, "When do I need to be there?" She didn't complain about the inconvenience or cost of time and money. Mom is the type who would jump on a plane in the middle of the night to get to me if I needed her that badly.

When I told her of my plans to move across the country, without a job or apartment, to start a whole new life, she didn't tell me I was stupid or that it was a horrible plan. Rather, she said that if it's what I wanted to do, she was behind me all the way. And, she made to point out that if I needed to move back home, the door would always be open. When I went on my mission, I didn't want to have to give up using my favorite chap stick, shampoo, or hair gel. On the mission budget, there was no way I could afford such luxuries--let alone find the products locally. So, Mom would regularly make sure I had these "needs" met. When I left the MTC and found that I couldn't fit everything in to the suitcase I'd gone to the MTC with, she overnight couriered a new, larger suitcase for me. When I had my 22nd birthday dinner, she mailed my favorite salad dressing to the church member whose house we were eating at, as the dressing wasn't found locally either. When we baptized a lovely lady named Linda, I wanted to give Linda a framed photo of the Hawaii temple she'd once visited 25 years previous. There wasn't time to get it ordered, shipped, etc., through regular means. Mom went out and bought it, then overnight mailed it to me so I'd have it in time and Linda's day would be even more special. When I told her of a picture another lady we baptized had fallen in love with, Mom found a copy of the painting and then framed and matted it herself (she's very crafty), before shipping it to her. It now graces the entryway to this woman's house. My bleeding heart finds charitable purposes on a regular basis--and Mom only moderately whines before opening her wallet to help me achieve whatever it is I'm trying. Sometimes, it's a weekly thing too. And yet, she still is willing to help whatever cause I've found to be my latest.

She is a great friend and mom to all of my friends, makes sure everyone is taken care of, would make me (and any friends spending the night) breakfast on the weekends, and just all around goes out of her way to make sure I'm taken care of.

There are a million acts of kindness and fun memories I could share about my mama, but I think I've offered enough insight to let the random reader get a feel for just how special and wonderful my mom is. I hope to have even half the humanity and wisdom she has--I would be a very blessed person to have that. Ma has a wonderful example to follow, in the form of my incredible grandma; she, in turn, has given me a wonderful example to follow. Sure, Mom is not perfect (the time she picked up the wrong dog at the groomer's comes to mind--but at least she was willing to pick up my dog for me in the first place), but she's as great as they come and I'm so blessed to have her as my mama. Happy Mother's Day, Ma! I love you like a fat kid loves donuts!