Kade the Horror Movie Survivor

I was just reminded of something that happened Sunday night & while I wasn’t laughing at the time, I can now.

Artis’ brother, Mont, headed out for the night and said he wasn't going to be home until the next morning. Artis went to sleep & I was sitting in bed reading emails, but decided to leave Tobi out on her floor pillow for a while, with plans to put her in her crate when I was ready to go to sleep. Since Mont was gone & no one else was going to be in the house to rile up the girls, I left the bedroom doors open. And that was a mistake.

A little after midnight, both girls completely flipped out and started barking. I hadn’t heard a single thing to set them off. (When the garage door opens, for instance, you can hear it upstairs since it’s right underneath the master bathroom.) So, I told them to knock it off. That didn’t work and before I could even stand up, they were both out the bedroom doors and down the stairs! Tobi still isn't supposed to run or do stairs, so I went running after them. As I was heading down the stairs, I screamed, "Bitches, get your furry little asses back up here!" That didn’t deter them and they rounded the corner towards the family room and hallway that leads to the garage. I went running across the living room & dining room and right as I was about to round the corner, I saw the silhouette of a man coming in my direction. I let out a scream...and then realized the silhouette was of a man holding Tobi…and then realized that man was Mont, who had come home after all. He came in through the garage & I didn’t have the TV on or anything, so I don’t know how I missed hearing him, but the girls were sure on top of it.

Artis came downstairs a minute or so later & said that he had wanted me to go down first to face whatever scary thing was lurking there so he didn’t have to. He’s continually telling me that he doesn’t think I’d be good at defending myself if I needed to, so I thought that was rather interesting. So, I reminded him that I once took a Facebook quiz that determined that if I were in a horror movie, I’d be the one who survives. (He doubts its validity, but whatev. It came through Facebook; it must be true.) He said, “Right. Because running downstairs all by yourself in the dark & then standing there screaming when you see someone walking towards you is certainly behavior a horror movie survivor displays.” Whatever. I know I’d totally survive.

Anyway, Tobi got put in her crate for the night, I shut the bedroom doors so Matza couldn’t go running off again, and I went to sleep…with a baseball bat close by. Afterall, what horror movie survivor doesn’t have a baseball bat close to them?!