Happy Birthday, Derriere!

Today marks the 27th birthday of my beloved friend, Darin...aka, Derriere, Dakin Pulsion, etc. In honor of this auspicious occasion, I offer up a list of 27 memories and/or reasons why I am glad Darin is my friend. Sadly, it did not take long to come up with so many bizarre memories...but that's what makes our friendship fun. Afterall, we are Kade and Darin, Darin and Kade. We fight like an old married couple, finish each others thoughts, and I think we may have even been separated at birth. We'll have to do some DNA testing there. In the meantime, I share with you my...

27 Memories/Reasons of Why I'm Glad Derriere is my Friend

1. The entrance to Nebraska. Who else could I possibly have enjoyed/endured that with?!


2. A-nnette Willie and the many, many, many years of jokes we’ve gotten from her. We’ve ridden her a long time…but that’s one ship that keeps on sailing. More of a pontoon than a ship, but whatev.


3. The uteran bulge. It deserves its own line.


4. The road trip across America…the rain, the Kleenex, the cargo strap, the motel searches, the endless word games…


5. Deli sandwiches from the convenience store fridge at 2 a.m., somewhere in Ohio. That was Hell. Let’s not do that again.


6. The overpass…peeing into an oncoming car…oh, wait…


7. Denny’s trips…Erica and her heaving bosom, ready to do CPR on you at any given second—particularly the mouth-to-mouth part.


8. The many adventures in good ol’ Aggie.


9. Cemetery drives with no headlights…and thus, little voyages off the road.


10. Cub River…locking the pregnant cat in the bathroom with Jen, making not-so-fun discoveries of pre-marital trysts happening in MY bed…


11. You’d rival A-nnette Willie in any beauty contest…well, except for the swimsuit competition, of course.


12. Lava Hot Springs…Bertie and Gertie; Arthur A. Rowsell; the dead bird; evenings eating ice cream and watching movies all night.


13. This is hard…do I really have to do 27?


14. The fact that you did not want me back in “your” hot tub, after I jumped in the hot tub with Billy Bob and Nalani’s boiled urine and sweat. You’re so selfish. Gosh.


15. “You want menus? For here?”...and then looking so out of place at that fun little diner in Downy, Idaho. (Why did we go back?!)


16. My first trip to DC back in the day…spilling my HOT chocolate on you…you being a thermostat Nazi. (“Shhh…Cammie Jan. Don’t tell Darin. He can’t find out. He’ll beat us.”)


17. The many weekends of you escaping Grandma Flo’s, sleeping on my floor, and being Brenda’s “good son”.


18. The OBX…your bus trip, my speeding ticket, swimming into the nest of baby jellyfish.


19. Hanging up on you the night you were mugged in NYC…pleasant for us both, I know. “Just remember, Darin, you can depend on me in any situation…just make sure I’m fully awake first.”


20. The sugar cookies shipped to Brazil via boat. Bless him.


21. You inhaling pillow fluff and subsequently vomiting in the kitchen sink. Ah, graduation. Fun times. “Why Miss Scarlet! He’s dead!” (And you almost were.)


22. Googly Eyes and the one quarter that provided hours of entertainment…and the Oreos at the payphone.


23. The many nights at the convenience store with Kris and Jeff…mixing sodas to see which combo was good, eating nachos, laughing to no end, etc.


24. What? What?


25. The cornfield…and discovering the corn was not edible for humans.


26. Hitting the deer and then trying to lasso it off the road. What were we thinking?! You laughing non-stop while I was having a heart attack. (And, I did NOT kill the thing…it was still twitching.)


27. Despite your many flaws…and I do mean many…you are a tremendous person whom I am blessed to call “friend”. You accept me for who I am, put up with my sometimes (and very rare) not-so-bright ideas, and are always there for me. Plus, how many people have provided me with so many years of crazy memories and so much laughter? Not many.

Happy birthday, friend! I’m looking forward to 27 more years of insanity, adventure, and copious hours of laughter…