Nokia Nonsense

Welcome to post #50. I just happened to notice that as I logged in. Very fun. Speaking of fun, I have quite the story to tell from tonight's interesting experience.

I was gone the whole day, returning to my mom's house late this evening. I grabbed some take-out on my way home from a restaurant I used to frequent and was sitting at the dinner table, eating and chatting, when the doorbell rang. Mom said, "Great. Another salesman. I don't need another security system." Well, it was certainly not ADT. It was actually the really strange girl from just down the road who is often seen just wandering about. I'm not quite sure what her deal is, but Mom and I certainly got to know her well tonight.

She said, "Can I please use your phone for two minutes? I have an emergency phone call I need to make." Mom asked if it was local or long-distance, to which the girl replied that it was long-distance. So, Mom handed her cell phone to this er, um...lovely?...girl, who promptly invited herself in and plopped down in the recliner. Meanwhile, I stayed at the kitchen table and listened to the girl's conversation, in-between chatting with Mom. Of course, we could only hear one side of the conversation, but these were some of my favorite lines:

-No, I'm not cheating on you. I said that as a joke to get you going.
-No, I didn't ever sleep with Dustin.
-No, I didn't ever sleep with John.
-She's just trying to break us up.
-Well, maybe if they shove two tubes up inside me, they can get the things out. (Lord only knows on this one...I was a bit nervous myself just hearing that.)
-I don't want to marry the wrong guy. Remember how drunk the last one got and then he got me drinking coffee every day. I'm waiting 2 1/2 years to marry the right guy.


There were plenty of other little things she said here and there that made me cringe, but those were the ones that got the most laughs from me. The really crazy thing was that she didn't seem to care that she was sitting in a total stranger's living room, with two people listening in on the convo. I whispered to Mom that we should move to the couch and just stare at her to see what she does. But, Mom didn't like that idea.

In the beginning, I told Mom that I'd give her maybe five minutes and then ask her to leave. Well, after the first five minutes were so bizarre, I told her to give the girl 10. Then, at 10 minutes, we were just getting to the good stuff, so I told her to go for 15. I said, "Mom--this is great blog material. We have to keep listening." At 15 mins., she asked the girl to please wrap up the call. At 20 minutes, she told the girl to wrap up the call, to which the girl responded that she needed two more minutes. Mom said, "You told me two minutes when you got here. It's been twenty." And with that, the girl ended her convo with a "Yeah, I need to go...Well, because I'm using someone else's phone...OK, love you, bye!"

Mom said, "You told me you would be two minutes and that was twenty. It also was not an emergency phone call like you said it was." She said, "I'm sorry. I had to call my boyfriend to straighten out some crap." Mom quickly saw her to the door and sent her on her way. A little bit later, a text came through that said, "I need to talk to Hidee. Please have Hidee call me. I need to talk to her." So, I'm going to assume the girl's name is Hidee, but who knows? Either way, it was truly bizarre and was one of the more awkward moments of my week. Based upon Mom's reaction, I can safely say that Hidee will not be using Mom's phone again. Ever. And that, my friends is the tale of the nonsense that took place tonight on Dear Brenda's Nokia. OK, I assume Mom's phone is a Nokia, but if not, I'm still going to go with it as I like the alliteration of Nokia Nonsense. :)