Handyman Kade

Well, this is too funny and well worth taking time away from all I need to do to blog about. I just got today's mail and amongst all the credit card offers, corporate identity design offers, and the Val-Pak coupons, I found a little interesting tidbit...well, not so little as it was a huge, blazing orange envelope. The envelople contained information inviting your's truly to become...a member of the Handyman Club of America! Yes, friends, it's true. According to the invitation, "it's no secret among [my] friends and family that [I am] an outstanding handyman. As someone who is passionately devoted to do-it-yourself home improvement and maybe even woodworking, [I'm] exactly the kind of person [the] Club is looking for." (At this point, I checked to make sure I hadn't accidentally gotten someone else's mail.)

As anyone who knows me can well attest, I am about the least handy person that exists on the face of this planet. I make Bob Vila look like a god. As a prime example of this, the letter came with some freebies, one of which was a Drill Guage. It's a large plastic disc with holes cut in it with the size of the drill bits listed to the side of each hole. I had to read further in order to figure out what this contraption is. I thought it was just an odd drill bit holder or something. What a wonderful freebie. And, speaking of freebies, though I won't be sending my $12/year subscription dues or joining the Minentonka, Minnesota-based club that is not for "lukewarm handymen", I will, however, fully utilize the free address labels that have the Handyman logo, complete with hammer, next to my name. This, at least, is proof that I am indeed a handyman. Even if I don't know how to be handy.